what's up with this?

I've posted a LOT, some would say ad nauseum, about my hopeless job situation and my current boss.  Well, one of the teachers had a small "invitation only" luncheon recently, which was lovely, but it quickly went from polite inquiries, to questions, to gossip, to slander, all the way down to tears.  At one point, I posed the following question.  Here we are, five very intelligent and competent grown-ass women who are scared to death of one other woman.  Why?  The quick answer comes down to the fact that she's the boss, and we don't have an HR department to go to.  We don't even have a board representative from the church to come down and sit in on meetings (which i think should happen).  Everyone voiced their fears of "not getting a good referral" WHEN (not if) they leave.  I was really mad.  It was like tearing blinders off the others to get everyone to realize that we don't need a referral from her, we need referrals from each other, from the parents whose children we are teaching, or from the other professionals who come in and out of our classrooms.

We decided to start small, and bring up one item for discussion per staff meeting.  I asked the group to e mail me their one item. I think we are up to about 25 now.  This ship is sinking.  I KNOW I'm not the only one out there who works for someone completely incompetent.  I question whether she has some memory issues.  I question whether she has a heart!  Why are we so afriad of conflict?  She's reduced me to tears a number of times, and it's a horrible feeling!  Does she realize this?  Does she feel bad?  Should I care?

Recently I've been getting a lot of outside affirmations about my skills as a special educator and that I should be working someplace where those skills will be utilized.  Which has improved my confidence.  However, is it going to take someone going bat-shit insane on this woman for everyone to get their heads around the fact that she's an incompetent, inappropriate leader?